nervous
by xxCallMeAmyxx
Summary: draco, scorpius, and becoming a little closer./for ql


**For the Quidditch League**

 **Puddlemere United, CHASER 3: Use the title of a story written by your Chaser 1 for inspiration (I chose TartCat207's story 'Nervous')**

 **Optional Prompts: 11. (dialogue) "I should have told you sooner."; 12. (genre) family; 14. (action) pacing nervously**

 **1064 words**

 **Betaed by Dessie and June**

* * *

Scorpius' heart is beating fast. He doesn't remember a time when he felt this nervous. A part of him is saying that it's ridiculous to be so scared. He has a fine relationship with his father, and he doesn't think this — what he's about admit in an hour or so — will ruin their relationship. At the same time, it makes him extremely nervous.

Scorpius has been psyching himself up for the past few days. There's a cycle he goes through often — pumping himself up and then not actually speaking to his father, but vowing to do actually go through with it next time. This time, though, he isn't going to chicken out.

Scorpius is going to come out to his father. _Today_.

It's August 31st, the night before Scorpius leaves for his fifth year at Hogwarts. He and his father always have a lunch the day before Scorpius leaves for school, and Scorpius is planning on just spitting the news out. If it doesn't go well…

Well, Scorpius will be heading off to Hogwarts anyway.

Scorpius and his father eat mostly in silence. Scorpius' mother would always fill up the room with chatter, engaging in conversation with both Scorpius and his father. Since she died, they've kept the yearly tradition of having a pre-Hogwarts meal, but so far they've been pretty quiet.

The silence doesn't help Scorpius. He keeps on looking up at his father's face and thinking, _He's going to hate me_. It also doesn't help that Scorpius' father has a resting face that makes him constantly angry.

He tries to push down those thoughts, though, instead thinking, _He loves me now. That won't stop._

"You okay, Scorp? You seem nervous," Scorpius father says, speaking up.

Scorpius realizes that he's been tapping his fork on his plate quickly. He forces a smile up at his dad and tries to calm his heart.

"I'm fine," he says, hoping his smile seems genuine. "Actually, Dad," he starts, internally cringing. It's a good opening. He could just say it right now. "Can I talk to you?"

Scorpius cringes at the way his voice cracks, but he feels a little bit better when his father gives him a warm smile — he doesn't get many of those, but the ones he _does_ get always make him feel better.

"Of course," his father says.

Scorpius lets go of his fork, taking a deep breath. He's going to do it. He's going to just spit out those two words — " _I'm gay."_ Honestly, it shouldn't be so hard.

Suddenly, sitting feels unbearable. Scorpius stands up, almost knocking his chair over. His heart's already pounding more than normal, but he needs to walk.

Conscious of his father's eyes on him, Scorpius walks to the other end of the table and then back again. He does this a few times, trying to just _calm down_ , even though everything in him is freaking out.

"You sure you're okay?" his father asks, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

Scorpius nods. He's pretty sure if he speaks, he'll actually throw up. He paces for another moment, trying to collect his thoughts.

 _Come on, Scorp_ , he thinks, trying to pump himself up. _Just say it. You can do this_.

Scorpius stops his pacing, grabbing onto the back of the chair he vacated. He tries to look his father straight in the eyes — eyes that are looking expectantly at Scorpius — but he finds that too difficult, so he focuses on the design of the wall behind his father.

"Dad," he starts, trying to take a deep breath. "I'm gay."

Scorpius thought that once he said the words, everything would feel better. He thought that maybe his heartbeat would slow down and he could sit down and finish his meal.

Scorpius still doesn't look at his father, but there's no response. His internal alarms are going off.

"If you have a problem with that," Scorpius says, speaking quickly, "if you hate me, then I don't care, because this is who I am, and I can't change that, and I just —"

"Scorpius," his father says softly, cutting him off.

Tears sting the corners of Scorpius' eyes. He doesn't even know where they came from. He also doesn't know when his father got up — he didn't hear any chair scraping against the ground — but his father wraps his arms around Scorpius' shoulders, hugging him from behind.

Scorpius turns, making the hug a real one, leaning into it. The tears are coming faster now, and he honestly doesn't know why. This hug means his father is okay with it, right? Everything should be fine.

"I could never hate you," Scorpius' father says, "so don't ever suggest that again."

Scorpius pulls away and fully looks at his father. His father, who's always had a cold exterior, has almost melted that away. Scorpius has never seen this side of his father, but he doesn't want it to leave. His father is look at him with soft eyes. Admiration, almost.

"Besides, it'd be hypocritical of me to hate you for that," his father continues, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hypocritical?" Scorpius asks, furrowing his brows. He tries to wipe away some tears with the palm of his hands, but they're quickly replaced — they still won't stop coming.

"I'm bisexual, Scorp," his father says.

Scorpius' entire viewpoint of his father shifts, then. He never knew this. It's just something that brings him and his father closer together — they're both not straight. Two Malfoy men, who are supposed to be perfect in all ways —

Scorpius tries to shut that part of his brain down, because why does his sexuality make him any less perfect?

"Really?" Scorpius asks, looking up at his father.

"Really," he replies. "I should have told you sooner, but…" His father trails off, waving his hand. "I guess you're never really finished coming out."

Scorpius almost lets out a laugh because it feels like he's on a high. His father is so much more accepting than Scorpius thought he would be — and to have him going through the same thing? Scorpius is pretty thankful that he's not alone on this.

Scorpius wipes away some more tears, and then leans in to hug his father.

"Thank you," he whispers into his father's shirt.

He hopes his father hears it.


End file.
